Aw, your so sweet, thanks. Its no big deal it was best for the both of us. Haha, Its no big deal. Yeah these people are laaame >__>.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
ua fckn digustin as weirdo losser who needz 2 go kill deyself
And your a fucking disgusting whore who needs to learn some fucking English, stupid bitch. HAHA, better being weird than a fucking slut, damned cock sucking skank.
your dirty as shit
WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH MY BODY PERVERT. D; I know you want me, but damn...I can't believe i'm so irresistible. GO suck it bitch, that's probably what your good at anyway, fucking whore.
your a fucking disgusting lesbian who needs to go die. fuck you and your girlfriend, but congrats to her for finally realizing your nasty as shit and dumping for faggot ass. bitch.
HAHAHA. riiiight. You make me lauuugh. Get your facts straight dumbass. Go fix your grammar while you're at it bitch.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
WAT TA F?! *just saw the thing about u an hom* when did this happen? i feel so bad for not knowin
Sorry for not notifying you. ;/ I guess i wasn't in the mood to talk about it. It happened about a week or two ago. I just decided it was time.
did you and hom break up?
Yes, yes we did. Sad right? But i would've thought it'd be obvious by now ;/
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I'm starting to aim higher.
I want to either go to an exchange school in Europe or in Japan/Asia.
;/ Or find a good university for art/design or full college.
To tell the truth i hate it here, and i feel as though i can get a lot more at a different school somewhere else.
Being here it just feels like all the school are the same.
The environment, and even the people seem oh so similar-esque.
Though my parents don't agree with the traveling if its my own money and life, and i'm older i'm going to do it. It has more opportunities. Haha, it would also do good if i want to become a linguist y'know. Its better than just studying abroad.
I might not have gotten into IB program, but i can still make a damn dent in this school if i try hard enough!
Even if people don't want to help me, i'm going to help myself!
I'll update on the subject, and the next two years at this high school are going to put my other grade to SHAME.
I want to look at my grades and go "Woahhh`" in a good way ;D
I'm tired of barely passing. Barely trying, and letting other people control my life. ;/
HELLO to something i should've thought about seriously a long time ago.
EDIT:
Here are a few things i need to ponder on.
1. If JAPAN IS AN OPTION.
NEARFLUENT in japanese. I have to be able to speak japanese on a level of a native japanese speaker or similarly. Meaning i need to speak japanese up to level one to the least.
2. Going to a Uni in america first and then to a uni in Japan.
- So i can get used to the environment ; Is it harder to get into a uni straight from highschool?
3. WAGES, money is what i need to survive. School,Food, Rent etc..
4. LOCATION,LOCATION,LOCATION.
5. What in hell am i going to major in ;/
I want to either go to an exchange school in Europe or in Japan/Asia.
;/ Or find a good university for art/design or full college.
To tell the truth i hate it here, and i feel as though i can get a lot more at a different school somewhere else.
Being here it just feels like all the school are the same.
The environment, and even the people seem oh so similar-esque.
Though my parents don't agree with the traveling if its my own money and life, and i'm older i'm going to do it. It has more opportunities. Haha, it would also do good if i want to become a linguist y'know. Its better than just studying abroad.
I might not have gotten into IB program, but i can still make a damn dent in this school if i try hard enough!
Even if people don't want to help me, i'm going to help myself!
I'll update on the subject, and the next two years at this high school are going to put my other grade to SHAME.
I want to look at my grades and go "Woahhh`" in a good way ;D
I'm tired of barely passing. Barely trying, and letting other people control my life. ;/
HELLO to something i should've thought about seriously a long time ago.
EDIT:
Here are a few things i need to ponder on.
1. If JAPAN IS AN OPTION.
NEARFLUENT in japanese. I have to be able to speak japanese on a level of a native japanese speaker or similarly. Meaning i need to speak japanese up to level one to the least.
2. Going to a Uni in america first and then to a uni in Japan.
- So i can get used to the environment ; Is it harder to get into a uni straight from highschool?
3. WAGES, money is what i need to survive. School,Food, Rent etc..
4. LOCATION,LOCATION,LOCATION.
5. What in hell am i going to major in ;/
Friday, May 21, 2010
I haven't been in the mood for sweets which is odd because i usually crave them.Though i haven't been eating much lately. I'm not in the mood for food...ugh, i hope i'm not being depressed. xD Strange ass sentence.
I have to say that somewhere in the back of my head i thought that me and Hom would get together again or at least be able to talk like we used to without it feeling a bit awkward. ;/ Sooo~ I've decided to leave her alone for a while. I mean once she goes to japan thats a long while but still. ;/ I just have that feeling she didn't want me around xD
There are things i want to prioritize about.
I want to get back into writing, and actually editing and creating my first novel. Hom always got on me for giving up so easily. ;/
I want to actually practice and draw a lot more.
I want to get into playing my violin again.
I want to learn spanish and get into japanese later on.
I want to not commit internal suicide. Because i know i have been.
I want to exercise and dance alot more.
Aiming to be healthier and learn more!
I have to say that somewhere in the back of my head i thought that me and Hom would get together again or at least be able to talk like we used to without it feeling a bit awkward. ;/ Sooo~ I've decided to leave her alone for a while. I mean once she goes to japan thats a long while but still. ;/ I just have that feeling she didn't want me around xD
There are things i want to prioritize about.
I want to get back into writing, and actually editing and creating my first novel. Hom always got on me for giving up so easily. ;/
I want to actually practice and draw a lot more.
I want to get into playing my violin again.
I want to learn spanish and get into japanese later on.
I want to not commit internal suicide. Because i know i have been.
I want to exercise and dance alot more.
Aiming to be healthier and learn more!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Beauty in the breakdown.
It looks like i've been breaking my promises lately. I've been sulking about things, and wishing some problems would go away or solve themselves. I've been losing myself and right now i'm on a vast search for who i am. Along with searching for answers however i've been running into trouble. I've been a nuisance and i thought it was already bad a few people hated me. The number seems to have doubled, and the molestation rate has gone up as well. You could say i was caught up in myself or in other people, which is part of my problem, but when i finally opened my eyes, i found many things were wrong. I've ignored everyone, the relationships, the hardships and i even stopped communicating with others as well. I expected for nothing to go wrong, and them to accept me like nothing happened. Picking up one of my notebooks i had supposedly lost with the words "Fuck you," on them read caught me off guard.
Tons of times i've been told to ignore what people say about me. This was unintentional. I was all over my girlfriend, communication or not, i was immersed in the idea of her, and i'm guessing everything revolved around her. I understand how they felt. How my close friends, and even the bystanders felt when i would ignore everything having to do with them. I left when she left, I talked about her all the time, i was even attempting to go into the same program as her[not for her sake], it was like i was some lost puppy or something. Things even became so frustrating i couldn't take myself any longer, and i'd cry multiple times and call myself an idiot. I was practically asking for the sympathy. I never thought myself as clingy, because we weren't around each other for long. But i guess i was a different kind.
So finding that she walked a path in which i was not included, i strayed to somewhere far. I still refuse to talk much about it online though. I'd admit i finally understand when they say this shit hurts. Because it does. Regardless of how happy it made you then, or how sad it made you now. When your not on their mind. Obviously there are more important things. Life doesn't revolve around you, yet you think about them whenever the silence occurs. Your prioritizing kicks you in the face with a steel toe boot and yet the mark it leaves is their name imprinted in blood.
I'll admit, of course i still love her. Regardless if the feeling is mutual, lost or forgotten. And yes i'd ask her out the same way i did February eleventh. Because i believe it was worth everything. Even if it wasn't the same for her. And even if she happen to not care.
I'll learn the equation to this problem, and solve it eventually without as much difficulty as i have now.
I'll learn about myself, and others.
And yet again i'll be baffled by this thing people call love.
I used to not believe in such a word people throw around.
You can't love someone if you don't dare love yourself.
And how can you love yourself if you have yet to find you?
Wish me some luck.
Tons of times i've been told to ignore what people say about me. This was unintentional. I was all over my girlfriend, communication or not, i was immersed in the idea of her, and i'm guessing everything revolved around her. I understand how they felt. How my close friends, and even the bystanders felt when i would ignore everything having to do with them. I left when she left, I talked about her all the time, i was even attempting to go into the same program as her[not for her sake], it was like i was some lost puppy or something. Things even became so frustrating i couldn't take myself any longer, and i'd cry multiple times and call myself an idiot. I was practically asking for the sympathy. I never thought myself as clingy, because we weren't around each other for long. But i guess i was a different kind.
So finding that she walked a path in which i was not included, i strayed to somewhere far. I still refuse to talk much about it online though. I'd admit i finally understand when they say this shit hurts. Because it does. Regardless of how happy it made you then, or how sad it made you now. When your not on their mind. Obviously there are more important things. Life doesn't revolve around you, yet you think about them whenever the silence occurs. Your prioritizing kicks you in the face with a steel toe boot and yet the mark it leaves is their name imprinted in blood.
I'll admit, of course i still love her. Regardless if the feeling is mutual, lost or forgotten. And yes i'd ask her out the same way i did February eleventh. Because i believe it was worth everything. Even if it wasn't the same for her. And even if she happen to not care.
I'll learn the equation to this problem, and solve it eventually without as much difficulty as i have now.
I'll learn about myself, and others.
And yet again i'll be baffled by this thing people call love.
I used to not believe in such a word people throw around.
You can't love someone if you don't dare love yourself.
And how can you love yourself if you have yet to find you?
Wish me some luck.
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