not to be random but someone wrote penis for a question. does that mean they craved it to the point it replaced the question in their mind? sounds like someone needs a pity screw. as for my question. Where do babies come from?

Haha, pity screw. I think your right. But, alas i do not have a penis. Sharing, is caring Sado. ROFL. jkjk. But. Babies my dear come from fruit trees. The fruit flies lay their eggs and BAM, BIG BUNDDLE OF CRYINGBABYFLESHANDPOO. ;DD

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(SADO) message me Kawaii?

Hello SAAAADO~~~ ;D

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Do you loooooove me? xD

YES. I very much want to have your babies. ;) SEXPLS? xD

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END OF THE YEAAAR~

Uwaaa~~
Its finally the end of the school year!!
The last few days were really fun!
On wednesday, i hanged out with my friends, Shana and Bre`~
;DD
I was really happy that day, because Shana was baaack~
I missed her very much, and i was beginning to worry.
But i'm happy she made some new friends, and found lots of new interests!
She's also been very lovey~~ ;DD

I also got to see Bre before school ended too~
Shana and I , We ditched our school and ended up going to our chinatown~~
Haha, i got to wear her heeels~~ It was such an adventure!
Though many things were closed; we managed to find many sweet shops. ;;A;;
And finding food was very difficult~~
We were hit on twiiice by men on this journey.
It was very sad. Since we didn't want to go back in that direction...but it was the only open place with food~~!
We decided to eat mangoes instead.
D;
After we left china town, it was still very much time left~~
We ate at Mcdonalds~~and talked very muuch~
There was this person. We couldn't tell the gender, but i thought he/she was cuuute~
Maybe it was because of the androgynous.. .___.
We concluded that it was a she because we thought we saw boobs.
But when i twas time for us to leave, and 'she' said goodbye, she had a very deep voice.
Scaaaarry~~~but very interesting.
We decided it was a 'Shim'

AFTERWARRRRDS~~ We headed back to school to pick up Bre!!~
My feet huuurt D;
Then we went to penns landing.
;D
The ducks were very manly, and we fed them safe things~~
There were geese with very girly honks. We took a few pictures while we were there.
Afterwards we trailed down the city and found some drinks at a very cool mall!~

That was a fun day.

Friday i decided to stay back in school for the official last day.
D;
We played Guitarhero/rockband with teachers~~
Which was fun while it lasted, and i was on vocaaals~~ ;DD
We were very silly all day.
;o
Either way, the day was great!
Can't wait for another great time!

Whoever is leaving those comments needs to GTFO. -0-'' I'm sorry to hear you guys broke up, and I hope you are doing okay! 0w0 ♥♥♥

Aw, your so sweet, thanks. Its no big deal it was best for the both of us. Haha, Its no big deal. Yeah these people are laaame >__>.

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ua fckn digustin as weirdo losser who needz 2 go kill deyself

And your a fucking disgusting whore who needs to learn some fucking English, stupid bitch. HAHA, better being weird than a fucking slut, damned cock sucking skank.

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penis

Thats not a question dumbass.

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your dirty as shit

WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH MY BODY PERVERT. D; I know you want me, but damn...I can't believe i'm so irresistible. GO suck it bitch, that's probably what your good at anyway, fucking whore.

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your a fucking disgusting lesbian who needs to go die. fuck you and your girlfriend, but congrats to her for finally realizing your nasty as shit and dumping for faggot ass. bitch.

HAHAHA. riiiight. You make me lauuugh. Get your facts straight dumbass. Go fix your grammar while you're at it bitch.

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awws i sorry to hear that you ok love?

Yeah, i'm fine.

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WAT TA F?! *just saw the thing about u an hom* when did this happen? i feel so bad for not knowin

Sorry for not notifying you. ;/ I guess i wasn't in the mood to talk about it. It happened about a week or two ago. I just decided it was time.

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did you and hom break up?

Yes, yes we did. Sad right? But i would've thought it'd be obvious by now ;/

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I'm starting to aim higher.
I want to either go to an exchange school in Europe or in Japan/Asia.
;/ Or find a good university for art/design or full college.
To tell the truth i hate it here, and i feel as though i can get a lot more at a different school somewhere else.
Being here it just feels like all the school are the same.
The environment, and even the people seem oh so similar-esque.
Though my parents don't agree with the traveling if its my own money and life, and i'm older i'm going to do it. It has more opportunities. Haha, it would also do good if i want to become a linguist y'know. Its better than just studying abroad.
I might not have gotten into IB program, but i can still make a damn dent in this school if i try hard enough!
Even if people don't want to help me, i'm going to help myself!
I'll update on the subject, and the next two years at this high school are going to put my other grade to SHAME.
I want to look at my grades and go "Woahhh`" in a good way ;D
I'm tired of barely passing. Barely trying, and letting other people control my life. ;/
HELLO to something i should've thought about seriously a long time ago.

EDIT:
Here are a few things i need to ponder on.
1. If JAPAN IS AN OPTION.
NEARFLUENT in japanese. I have to be able to speak japanese on a level of a native japanese speaker or similarly. Meaning i need to speak japanese up to level one to the least.
2. Going to a Uni in america first and then to a uni in Japan.
- So i can get used to the environment ; Is it harder to get into a uni straight from highschool?
3. WAGES, money is what i need to survive. School,Food, Rent etc..
4. LOCATION,LOCATION,LOCATION.
5. What in hell am i going to major in ;/

I haven't been in the mood for sweets which is odd because i usually crave them.Though i haven't been eating much lately. I'm not in the mood for food...ugh, i hope i'm not being depressed. xD Strange ass sentence.

I have to say that somewhere in the back of my head i thought that me and Hom would get together again or at least be able to talk like we used to without it feeling a bit awkward. ;/ Sooo~ I've decided to leave her alone for a while. I mean once she goes to japan thats a long while but still. ;/ I just have that feeling she didn't want me around xD

There are things i want to prioritize about.
I want to get back into writing, and actually editing and creating my first novel. Hom always got on me for giving up so easily. ;/

I want to actually practice and draw a lot more.
I want to get into playing my violin again.
I want to learn spanish and get into japanese later on.
I want to not commit internal suicide. Because i know i have been.
I want to exercise and dance alot more.
Aiming to be healthier and learn more!

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Beauty in the breakdown.

It looks like i've been breaking my promises lately. I've been sulking about things, and wishing some problems would go away or solve themselves. I've been losing myself and right now i'm on a vast search for who i am. Along with searching for answers however i've been running into trouble. I've been a nuisance and i thought it was already bad a few people hated me. The number seems to have doubled, and the molestation rate has gone up as well. You could say i was caught up in myself or in other people, which is part of my problem, but when i finally opened my eyes, i found many things were wrong. I've ignored everyone, the relationships, the hardships and i even stopped communicating with others as well. I expected for nothing to go wrong, and them to accept me like nothing happened. Picking up one of my notebooks i had supposedly lost with the words "Fuck you," on them read caught me off guard.

Tons of times i've been told to ignore what people say about me. This was unintentional. I was all over my girlfriend, communication or not, i was immersed in the idea of her, and i'm guessing everything revolved around her. I understand how they felt. How my close friends, and even the bystanders felt when i would ignore everything having to do with them. I left when she left, I talked about her all the time, i was even attempting to go into the same program as her[not for her sake], it was like i was some lost puppy or something. Things even became so frustrating i couldn't take myself any longer, and i'd cry multiple times and call myself an idiot. I was practically asking for the sympathy. I never thought myself as clingy, because we weren't around each other for long. But i guess i was a different kind.

So finding that she walked a path in which i was not included, i strayed to somewhere far. I still refuse to talk much about it online though. I'd admit i finally understand when they say this shit hurts. Because it does. Regardless of how happy it made you then, or how sad it made you now. When your not on their mind. Obviously there are more important things. Life doesn't revolve around you, yet you think about them whenever the silence occurs. Your prioritizing kicks you in the face with a steel toe boot and yet the mark it leaves is their name imprinted in blood.

I'll admit, of course i still love her. Regardless if the feeling is mutual, lost or forgotten. And yes i'd ask her out the same way i did February eleventh. Because i believe it was worth everything. Even if it wasn't the same for her. And even if she happen to not care.

I'll learn the equation to this problem, and solve it eventually without as much difficulty as i have now.

I'll learn about myself, and others.

And yet again i'll be baffled by this thing people call love.
I used to not believe in such a word people throw around.
You can't love someone if you don't dare love yourself.
And how can you love yourself if you have yet to find you?

Wish me some luck.

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hehehehe yup........now i think ill actually remember them lolz

Thats good. ;] I'll test test you later on it kaaay?
An other questions?

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srry....i keep forgetting what good night/evening is ;)

Ah, Craigu?
Haha, Good night is Oyasuminasai.
You write that like オヤスミナサイ！。
Good evening is Konbanha. [pronounce konbanwa]
and you write it like コンバンワ。

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did you and that hom girl have sex yet?

Why do people keep asking this? I still think its none of your concern. That is a private matter, and if me and hom ever decide to make a sextape then, thats when you get the 'details' on our relationship. ;] thank you.

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ohiyo....

Don't you mean Ohayo? and isn't in too late to be saying this. Someone needs to brush up on their japanese. ~オヤスミ！

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have you and that hom girl had sex yet?

Why do people keep asking this? Well, i still think thats none of your concern. Its a private matter. ;D Until me and Hom think its a good idea to make a sex tape then you know the 'details' of our relationship.

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Things to think about

Today is sunday. I have managed to yet again accomplish nothing constructive, and decided to be a glutton and a sloth. I slept most of the time, and ate the rest. D; That food was really good. But i need to get healthier. Well if i want healthy hair, skin, and etc. ;/

I was thinking of going to CVS and picking up some vitamins. But i dunno how i'll do with pills.
I've been drinking a bit more water than i usually do. Yay me. Though like my studying, it is not enough. My mom is still trying to get me to wear wigs, and etc...I don't blame her though. My hair is like horrible. ;A;

Well i have a list of things to do.
1. GET YOUR ASS INTO IB.
1b. If NOT prepare to spiral into shame, depression, and more shame. >[
2. LEARN SPANISH.
2b. Though i do miss learning japanese, and i feel some type of way about things now...
3. PASS GEOMETRY >[
3b. No matter what, the only classes that are holding me down are these two...
4. During all school matters, get healthy.
5. In free time, whenever that happens to ever come about, learn or finish learning your dances.
5b. They are beneficial to exercise ;D
6. Take Hom on a date >D, convince parents to meet, and apologize/thank for stupidity on last meet. Ugh i'm such a looooser. I must've looked horrid, and acted terribly. ;A;

Shout HORRAY for the brilliant.

These last few days haven't exactly been the best. Walking down to the English department to find out where my life is heading, fingers crossed, and grumbling small prayers and tribunes in hope that i'd get in this program. I left said English department with less than a glimmer of hope, and nearly felt like dying on the spot. With those feelings i took whatever was left of my courage and hope, and went to talk to the problem of my situation. Though i still blame myself for lack of knowledge and test taking abilities in this class. I went to my teacher and asked her when and where i could find the teacher that could possibly save my arse. She gave me what i wanted. 7th period, or before school. Though she had stolen every bit of determination that i had. With the amount of self confidence, and depressing thoughts that were already there, she had the nerve to make it worse. I didn't even think it could get worse, but holy roman empire it did.

She told me that i could not pass this test, because the other teacher's test was absolutely much harder, she told me that she didn't think i was ready, and that what i had learned from both years in her class was not enough. Though i blame her for her lack of teaching ability, and my school for giving me the same teacher. She said that if i would have studied more Spanish since day one i would be fine and in the program now. She also reminded me of my dislike of Spanish, and my lack of speaking abilities. And repeated that this program was rigorous, and i wondered if she knew and other 'large' words. I seriously began to doubt that. With more of her 'helpful' facts, i left her, and oh my did i break down. Obviously it would be too much of an embarrassment in front of her, so my body held it in until i could no longer. It was so immense that i was stopped in the hallway and forced into the nearest stall to clean up, asked if i should see a counselor and eventually walked to my next class.

The next day, i forced myself to get out of bed, and head to this hell of a school. [I won't even go over this morning of hell ] I talked to this arse-saving-teacher and was told to give her my horrible tests, and she would help me and see if i could handle this 'rigorous' program. The problem is, when i receive a test or quiz from this so-called-teacher i would eventually throw them away in spite of my horrid grade, and study a fuck load more for the next quiz or test i knew i would fail. Ugh, how if only i knew these 'amazing' tests were needed. The same day however, looking through files and folders without luck, i passed the quiz for this terrible teacher. Everything seemed to be looking up.

Its kind of hurtful though. Not passing this quiz, but finding out that almost everyone else including your girlfriend and one of her only truthful friends in school made it in this 'rigorous' program and you didn't. Oh the bliss. Great. Oh how stupid i felt after being told this. Of course i was happy for them. But my anger, and feelings of stupidity fell on me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't talk, nor answer my girlfriend's question on "What's wrong?"

Haha...

Whats wrong.

Everything passed in one ear and out the other. I was blinded, or deafened as you can say, by frustration. Oh, much more than frustration. Everything was wrong. My recommendations for this program were cheesy , ugh i had to get one from a substitute. My grade in this class were anything but good, and oh right, they only accept 30 people.

I wanted to pull my hair out, freak out, cry, and hit something so hard it could explode 10 times. That is a understatement.

I'm go sit in a corner now, with my Spanish book, a gallon of ice cream, and my deathmetalcrap music. ;/